Dear Diary

Sometimes I feel I'm so dependant on your guys, or on any of my friends So much so I cannot do things alone anymore.
Sighness.
n20 oh n20.
I'm so sorry, I know this is going to annoy you guys, but I really do miss those carefree days in 2008 with just us all.
Problem free and just laugh all the way,
We know we all like each other
and all we have to worry is just exam.

Dear diary,
I'm afraid of growing up.
I am so afraid.
I feel really really lost right now.
A friend don't seem like a friend anymore.
I know some people out there will just say
fuck these feelings, friends come and go in your life
But not for me though.
I don't know why I keep thinking and feeling depress about it.
I'm so afraid that I might lose two friends,
which at this case it seemed like i already did.
I really dont know what to do.

Dear diary,
I keep thinking about the whole situation over and over again,
but I cannot help but feel disappointed.
And It's in my nature that,
when i argue with a person and both said horrible things,
I wont' be able to talk like normal
especially when that person was once my good friend.
I cannot just be so chilling and let things go.

Dear diary,
I miss my friend.
Has someone took him/she away?
Why has she/him changed so much as compared to 2008?

Dear diary,
Everything's so different now,
Even amongst us
I don't know who to trust.
I really don't know.

Dear diary,
why do these misunderstandings happen both during my finals is 2008 and my finals in 2009.
I can barely concentrate.
I'm gonna flunk my papers.
I'm going crazy.

Dear diary,
Someone once told me that a friendship can be maintained when both parties are involved.
But dear diary,
i tried my best to be normal,
I tried my best to take the first step
but dear diary,
why am I always the one to feel depress and the after effect?
dear diary,
there are tonnes of other people out there,
but why am I the one with this friendship problem?
dear diary,
why the fuck am I the one always to be blamed.

Dear diary,
I'm going nuts.